It's October. It's midterms at medical school. And I need to focus and study and I do but I'm also distracted. Because it's October. And while I need to be concerned with the anatomy of the arm and the forearm and the hand, as well as neuroanatomy, fertilization and gametogensesis, blood coagulation and cascades of factors, connective tissue, baroreflexes, serotonin, renin, angiotensin, and a million other things I don't know - instead I'm thinking about my brother, David. Because here's the truth about suicide: it never ends. The effects never go away. The hurt hardly dims. The grief is tangible and still brings me to my knees. And so I try to love October. Because the air is crisp. And sweaters are my favorite. And pumpkin spice. And hot chocolate. And David. Because if he were here he would be loving October. Hello October. Hello trying not to fail my midterms (because I have been here before - I failed the midterms that happened the w...