HEEEEEELLLLLLOOOOO
Click on that. It'll make you happy, I promise. Make sure your sound is on first.
So it is the second semester for me here at PNWU. I almost put BYU. I don't know about that haha
The semester has been interesting. Enjoyable. Trying. And while I am still not doing as well as I would like to be doing, I am enjoying myself much more than last semester. You do really sort of hit a stride. That's not to say it's any easier or that I've gotten any better (or smarter, unfortunately). I still perform subpar in my exams and that comes with it's own stress and depression. I have learned where to go to get help, how to be better to myself, how to balance my time so I'm still doing some of the things I love.
They told us at the beginning to keep up with your school work but keep working out, get enough sleep, continue with your hobbies, keep in communication with your loved ones, eat healthy - DO ALL THE THINGS! And throughout the last semester I really struggled because I thought "This just isn't possible. I can't do all these things and do well in school." And then you know what? I wasn't doing well in school. And if I'm honest, I'm not doing as well as I should be. But I am happier (generally, I have my moments) because I have found better balance. I work out. I play my guitar. I take Sundays off. I call my mom all the time. I take the time to write my sister who is serving her mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Texas. And I try really hard to not get mad at myself when I don't quite reach my 14 hours of studying a day.
But I gave up a day of studying. And I give up time studying almost everyday to walk or run or do meditation. I released some of my food stress by findings balance and accepting that it's okay to eat some things that come frozen. And those things don't make me a bad person. Or a bad student. Or a bad role model. Or anything BAD AT ALL!
Deciding to honor the Sabbath day was a really hard decision for me. Although I know better, I derive much of my self worth from my academic standing. This is probably the worst thing about me because it brings with it a lot of negativity into my life and is the key reason for my occasional depressive breaks. But I decided to trust in Heavenly Father, that if I honored the Sabbath day, everything would work out. And they haven't quite - at least not the way I would expect. So much of this life is coming to realize that we have to accept that things won't go the way we want. But I believe God is at the helm and he's a better navigator than I will ever be.
Maybe keeping the Sabbath day holy isn't something that is important to you. Regardless of what day it is, you need to take time off too. It's healthy to take time away from the stressors of your life and find balance. Whether you find that in a church house, in meditation, on the top of a mountain, sweating it out in the gym, or sitting in a park with a good book. Rejuvenation won't just happen.
I've also been way better at consistently reading the Book of Mormon. The leaders of my congregation issued us a challenge to read it in 90 days. And while I'm not perfect at that, consistently reading the Book of Mormon in order and on a daily basis as brought a lot of blessings into my life. It has helped me better organize my morning, decrease my stress by being mad I didn't read the scriptures that day, protected me against temptation, and helped me pay more attention to God's hand in my life - and I'm sure there are other blessings I am not remembering right now :)
Something else that I've been working on this semester that I know has really helped me is service. People don't go into medicine who are not service oriented. As a general rule, people interested in health professions are interested in, perhaps even driven by, the need to help those around them. And when we lose sight of that it hurts us. I look for ways to serve as often as I can - keeping in mind that all things desire and deserve balance and so there are times when I could offer service that I refrain, and there is nothing wrong with that either.
Keeping your body healthy, taking time (or a day) to find your center, and looking outside of yourself are the things that will help you maneuver through life with success and positive mental health!
I went to the store for some things and as I came out, I ran into some Elders from my Church. On a whim, I took them to lunch - and the other set who they had driven up from Toppenish with. My sister, as I said, is a missionary. And I was a missionary too. And I never wanted for anything. There were areas where we got fed every day, and areas where I was fed by a family maybe once a week if we were lucky. I hope that at some point in Kirsten's mission, some random person invites her to lunch. I loved sitting with those boys for twenty minutes. I loved hearing about their missions, guessing how long they had been out (I was really bad at that haha) and just being in the presence of the servants of God. I loved being a missionary. That was an EXTREMELY important part of my life and continues to play a gigantic role in the person I am and the choices I make. I am grateful for every opportunity to be reminded of the eighteen months I spent in pure, Christ-like service to my fellow man.
My daily mantra: I am grateful. God is kind. And I have sufficient for my needs.
Go conquer this week guys!
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