Skip to main content
I'm sitting, staring, waiting
Trying to make myself move
I see a direction to be taking
Just wishing I could soothe

Those thoughts and feelings that churn my stomach

I'm stuck, quicksand dragging me down
Unable to move, to shift, to call
I'm trying and trying but can make no sound
And I'm held unbelievably fast, wishing if not to flee then to fall

Away from those thoughts and feelings that churn my stomach
And worry my heart and hold my mind in fear

Unable to decide, unable to understand
I sit, I ponder, I shift, I reverse
I call, I cry until finally I stand
Then I shift back, fall back, land with a curse

Unable to rid myself of those terrifying thoughts and feelings that churn my stomach
And worry my heart and hold my mind in fear while I lay and cry, slowly dying of fear

I pray, I call, I cry

I fear

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

getting to and through YEAR ONE

Hello? Oh, Hello there! I am excited to talk more about my summer as I enjoy the last few days before I dive into studying hard. It is almost the beginning of the second year of medical school. Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. I experienced more pain, suffering, doubt, tears, and heartache than I have ever before in such large doses. I staggered under the weight of my fears and found myself often on my knees with no where else to turn. It was a beautiful place to find myself. Of course it is easy to say that now, looking back as I stand proud. There was a lot that went into my decision to go to medical school. Ultimately it took a lot of prayer and a lot of planning. It took a lot of service hours, a lot of hard work in my undergrad, a lot of conversations with my mother. It was a grueling process which no one can understand until you've been through it. I often doubted I was making the right choice. As I was preparing for the MCAT, which is the entr...
2 comments
Read more

D/C 139:26

 First of all, I'm going to go on a little complaining rant. I hate cats. I am not a cat person. The only time I like cats is when they are cuddly and asleep. They smell, the make loud noises when they drink from water bowls, they cry a lot to come in or out, and they clean themselves in a way that always grates on my nerves.  Okay, now that that's out of the way, my second line of business on blogger today: Surgery recovery update! I went and saw Larry today and he said the knee is lookin' goood :) Not in so many words because Larry never has anything really positive to say (which is fine and doesn't make me like him any less) but he didn't dis my work on my knee so it's aaall good. I still have to wear my sports brace... I guess I should amend that and say Larry says I should still be wearing it... and I haven't been but I didn't tell Larry that. The guy might get all Larry on me. But I will try and be more diligent in my brace wearing in the future....
2 comments
Read more

From Omaha, NE

The idea for this blog post comes from a blog I occasionally read called The Freckled Fox . She calls these posts "Taking Stock": Seeing:  all the dogs sleeping, a nephew playing, ceiling fans turning, grey clouds. Making:  an effort to not disappear into the bedroom I'm staying at while in Nebraska with family (kids'll do that to me) Cooking:  nothing. Since I'm visiting family in Omaha, I haven't done much cooking. But while here I have made my absolute favorite PB cookies which are easy and delicious Drinking:  sooooo much water - still not enough Reading:  a guide for everything you need to know about medical school and Pushkin's Eugene Onegin Hearing:  the pot on the stove cooking the bottles which contain my SIL Nicole's homemade spaghetti sauce Wanting:  the next year to speed by - I am tired of fretting about med school applications and would like the whole thing finished - please? Looking:  forward to visiting the zoo to...
3 comments
Read more