Thoughts from ME

Christmas time is a celebration of a spectacular event that changed everything forever. Mary bore the world its Savior in her son Jesus the Christ. We celebrate his birth at this wonderful time of year. Reproductions of his birth can be found everywhere, acted out or set up in lawns or in living rooms. The star, the shepherds, the manger, his earthly parents, and the Son. Wherever I am, this is what Christmas is about.  Recently we had a Relief Society activity where all the women shared either a) their favorite Christmas memory or b) a favorite Christmas tradition. It was fun to listen to all these woman, spanning ages 18 to 60+ speak of their families and their traditions and memories. It was not until then that I really realized I'll be in Provo, away from my family during this very special time. However, my thoughts and love will be with them as they meet together and share time and laughter. The tradition I shared is one very close to the hearts of me and all of my sibling...

Well we all have a face That we hide away forever And we take them out and Show ourselves When everyone has gone Some are satin some are steel Some are silk and some are leather They're the faces of the stranger But we love to try them on ...Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer Then I came home to a woman That I could not recognize When I pressed her for a reason She refused to even answer It was then I felt the stranger Kick me right between the eyes (Billy Joel, "The Stranger", 1977) I have been pondering lately about people and how complex we all are. As individuals we wear many faces, masks, make-up etc. To our family, our friends, our teachers we are all different people. Who are we really? Do we even know? When the lights are out and we lie in bed, when the days activities and stray thoughts flutter around in our brain, do we realize who we are? Where in that day we acted out a new face? A new persona? When do we act as we truly a...

There's something beautiful about fire and candlelight. I have always thought this is because people are awed by how destructive something so beautiful can be. Tonight I have thought something else. I have this small candle from somewhere and tonight I lit it for no real reason. Here are my realizations:  Jesus Christ is called the Light of the World. As his disciples, and members of his church, we also are to be lights (Matt. 5). I think people find fire attractive in part because it reminds of spiritual things. Girls who attend testimony meeting at Girl's Camp around the fire often say (and I agree) that it is one of the most spiritual experiences they have had and probably will have. I admit this to be partially because you have spent days camping in God's nature, away from civilization, but there is almost always a fire at that meeting and it is what every girl, leader, and Priesthood holder are looking at. God so loved the world that he gave his Only Begotten Son...

Mission call arrived (FINALLY) and I am going to Virginia Richmond Mission, English speaking I leave Dec. 15th, my farewell is Nov. 28th here at home We have been pressing apples today and making apple cider! yummmm! Really fun. Company was great too... :) The knee is feeling strong and healthy. Had a little scare, thought I pulled stitches or something few weekends ago hiking in Moab but it's feeling great once more! Yes! Jay and Nicole will know the gender of their baby next Wednesday and I'm thinking...Boy Found the coolest scripture in, of all places, Isaiah. (See Isaiah 43:1-5) My brother David moved to Pennsylvania. Out of the blue. Like the old country western song. I'm kind of looking forward to shopping for my mission. I'm not a big shopper but I think it'll be pretty fun.  Today was a perfect example of October. The sun played with us! It shined and then hid like it was playing hide and go seek with us! I think it had way more fun then we did, so u...

"I love beginnings. If I were in charge of calendars, every day would be January 1."  SPOILER ALERT for the story of Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl and Love, Stargirl. You have been warned.  Last semester I took a Young Adult Literature class. One of the books we studied was Jerry Spinelli's stunning novel "Stargirl." Stargirl has received much praise from critics. Wikipedia states, "It was a New York Times Bestseller a Parents Choice Gold Award Winner, an ALA Top Ten Best Books Award winner, and a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year. Critics have praised the Stargirl character and the novel's overall message of nonconformity." My reception to the book was mixed. I loved it. And at the same time I disliked it.  Stargirl is a beautiful character, a girl who is comfortable and happy being herself and doing what makes her happy and what she thinks will make other people happy. (Love). She has been homeschooled and in the book starts high sc...

 Hi! :) Updates: Knee recovery: August 27th marks my four months and the day when I can start jogging! Which seems sad on some level. I did easy Pilates this morning which was so nice. Two months will mark my six months and then I can play sports, run, jump, and Go On My Mission! Mission: My papers have been found!! (FINALLY!) and I have my interview with the bishop on Wednesday! So happy that my papers were found so I can get them sent in. My summer has been pretty lame but nice too. I've been trying to be optimistic about the time it's taken for all my mission stuff to work out. This is my last real summer for awhile and I should enjoy the rest. It's been fun hanging out and helping Hannah. She goes back to school this Thursday and she is super glad to get back. Rachel is moving out this week! First time moving out and it's going to be great! Sad little side note, she will be taking my laptop with her (!) but s'all good.  I've been frustrated lately wi...

I have decided to put some stuff on Youtube.com since I will soon be gone for a space of 18 months to somewhere yet to be determined. It's not fabulous and the quality is poor but it's something more than nothing mostly for my family while I'm gone. I made a few mistakes but that's still me so I didn't record the song over. See my first video here . And my second here . <3 ME

"And ye shall go forth in the power of my Spirit, preaching my gospel, two by two, in my name, lifting up your voices as with the sound of a trump, declaring my word like unto angels of God...Ye may be my people and I will be your God...Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die and more especially for those that have not hope of a glorious resurrection. And it shall come to pass that these that hath faith in me shall not taste of death...It shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed. He who hath faith to see shall see. He who hath faith to hear shall hear. The lame who hath faith to leap shall leap. And they who have not faith to do these things, but believe in me, have power to become my sons; and insomuch as they break not my laws thou shalt bear their infirmities. Thou shalt stand in the place of thy stewardship. Thou shalt ask, and my scriptures shall be giv...

 SO! My bishop called my stake president from up in Rexburg and my papers will be on their way to Utah come Monday! I'm so excited (And Totally nervous! I haven't really been nervous at all but now that I am it is a little overwhelming!) So I am getting everything put in order so that come October I can leave when the Lord says! It's going to be Epically Epic. Yep, it is!

 Christian Louboutin makes the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen in my life *sigh* I love shoes. His shoes are created to lengthen the leg and simply look Gorgeous. I especially love the red undersole. And no, this post is not like my usual posts and holds no real value. I'm  simply sharing. I love these shoes (See a selection of his shoes here )  My top three favorite Christian Louboutin pumps:   1. Decollete 100 Jazz Pumps   2. Corto 85 Leather pumps   3. Decollete 100 pumps  Someday, I will own these shoes .

“And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. “And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off: “And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. “And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed. “And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, “And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. “And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? “There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. “And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.” ( Luke 17:11–19 .) Every day I am surrounded by an abundance of blessings that I far too often take for granted. I live in a beautiful small...

 Today I was told I could leave for my mission as early as October 19th! That's right! OCTOBER! So I will return to BYU-Idaho for one more semester and then I will have my papers in and hopefully leave at the beginning of the new year! I'm so excited. I've wanted to serve my mission for as long as I can remember. I am very humbled by the knowledge that it's coming up. I'm not ready but no preparation I make can truly prepare me for the amazing experiences I will have while serving as the Lord's mouthpiece. I can't wait! Words of advice??

So I promised to tell you about the weekend. Here's the breakdown: Dad came and picked me up Friday night at 8. We went shopping at Wal-mart and Smith's and left Logan at 10. We traveled through Logan Canyon and stopped at our campsite to reserve it for the next night. Arrival time in Woodruff: 12:10 a.m. I spent that night in a tent on my grandparent's front lawn with cousins Kylie and Chelsea. We stayed up an extra hour or something talking, which was fun. The next day Matt and Kirsten (+her friend Robretta) came up from SLC. There was a parade. {Top picture, starting from left: Aunt Barb, cousin Kylie, Aunt Suzie.  In the middle picture, starting from the left: boyfriend named Tyler, cousin Chelsea (gf of Tyler), sister Kirsten, cousin Cameron, boyfriend Josh (gf cousin Kylie is riding her horse in the parade. Refer to first picture, middle girl - black chaps), brother Matt, cousin Leah, friend of Kirsten Robretta, cousin Tanner, yours truly. And no, I d...

 First of all, I'm going to go on a little complaining rant. I hate cats. I am not a cat person. The only time I like cats is when they are cuddly and asleep. They smell, the make loud noises when they drink from water bowls, they cry a lot to come in or out, and they clean themselves in a way that always grates on my nerves.  Okay, now that that's out of the way, my second line of business on blogger today: Surgery recovery update! I went and saw Larry today and he said the knee is lookin' goood :) Not in so many words because Larry never has anything really positive to say (which is fine and doesn't make me like him any less) but he didn't dis my work on my knee so it's aaall good. I still have to wear my sports brace... I guess I should amend that and say Larry says I should still be wearing it... and I haven't been but I didn't tell Larry that. The guy might get all Larry on me. But I will try and be more diligent in my brace wearing in the future....

 My older sister is a huge country fan. One of her favorite singers since she has been young is Tim McGraw. He sings a song entitled " One of These Days ." The song is about love and how everyone is searching for it, not only in other people but also in yourself. At the end, McGraw sings, "One of these days, I'm gonna love me and feel the joy of sweet release. One of these days, I'll rise above me and at last I'll find some peace...One of these days, I'm gonna love me."  God created us in his infinite wisdom to feel some kind of emptiness that is only filled when we find someone we truly connect with, who we love, who loves us, who we feel we can share eternity with. Part of that empty part of us is left empty until we also find love for ourselves.  We are told in Leviticus 19:18, in Matt 5:43-44, in Matt 23:37-40, Romans 13:9, and again in Galatians, James, Mosiah and even the Doctrine and Covenants "Love thy neighbor as thyself." It i...

"When you rest in quietness and your image of yourself fades, and your image of the world fades, and your ideas of others fade, what's left? A brightness, a radiant emptiness that is simply what you are." Adyashanti  Lately I have been thinking more about Jesus Christ and the attributes that make one more like him. One that has stood out to me lately is stillness. When you think of stillness what do you think of? I think of humility, the ability to listen, to stand quietly and observe. If you take time to observe children, often they want badly to be the center of attention. Not all of them are this way. Some kids grow out of it. Some don't. I like being the center of attention, having people listen to what I'm saying and react appropriately. I like making people laugh, knowing it was something I said or did that made them happy. But lately, I have been trying more and more to just sit back, to observe, to listen and be still. I like bright clothing, bright ti...

 If you think about it, today has been productive, at least if you compare it to most of my summer days so far. I woke up early, had breakfast of oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins, went to physical therapy, went to the Deseret Industries for some shirts, did a load of laundry, started a book, updated my brother's blog and helped with dinner. But despite all those things, I have felt restless all day long. Like I just want to be outside, running. I suppose maybe it's a build up of energy or something. But it's energy I can't seem to disperse. My knee is aching today. Physical therapy was hard and then Hannah and I spent two hours at the D.I. Even though I really want to go for a walk or even (I really wish) a run, I can't go. I'm very tired of my knee. Very, very tired.  So like I said, I updated my brother's blog. He's currently paying time in Central Utah Correctional Facility. He sends me some poems and I post them on his blog. Today's batch w...

To this day, one of my favorite smells is the mix of motor oil and orange scented cleaner. My dad is a mechanic and the cleaner was what he used (uses?) on his hands. Whenever we went camping, my dad always brought his guitar. That is one of the reasons I play too. One of the only memories I have of childhood is after I learned to ride a bike. One day I dragged my dad all over town on our bikes. We stopped for Creamies and squeaky cheese at this little dairy store that is no longer there. I always loved my orchestra concerts. I think more than the playing and being on stage, I loved knowing that if my dad had made it to the concert, I was going to be able to get ice cream with him at the nearby Artic Circle. My dad taught me how to camp, how to love old country music, how to make cookies...my dad makes a mean cookie! Thinking of his smile and laughter Always makes me miss him. And then I cry. He taught me it's okay to cry, even if you're a tough old mechanic. By e...

 Ever have those days (girls) when you think at some point, "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"? Yeah, for me, that was today. And mostly everyday actually now that I think about it. So today I went to church and it was quite possibly the most boring Sunday I remember having. Ever. My friend Kim, who is one of my TWO friends in Richmond who are not related to me, taught for the last time in Relief Society today because in a brief week and a half she will be departing Cache Valley for the great unknown, aka Provo UT. Kimberly Blau will soon don a black and white badge and enter the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, before she leaves this great America for Japan. That's right, JAPAN. She spoke today in sacrament too, her dry run for her farewell talk next week. I swear I was checking the clock every five minutes, not because of Kim's talk, just the whole meeting was long. There was one part in church that I thoroughly enjoyed: Because Kim was talking, ...

- Hannah is at camp all week. - So is Aaron... - I'm sad for one of my best friends Rachel because dearest Elche has passed away - I'm listening to Aaron Carter and Jack Johnson - I made a smoothie for breakfast and it was not exactly "delish" - I miss breakfast cereal...actually I miss shopping for my own food, preparing my own food, and eating my own food - food that I choose. - I should appreciate not making my own food while it lasts... - NEXT WEEKEND IS MY FAMILY REUNION AND BOTH JAY AND CRYSTAL WILL BE THERE!!! With their spouses! YAY!!! - I am walking without crutches and Almost with no limp - But Larry was less than excited that I came to pt without my crutches when he hadn't told me I could... whoops - I have a crush on a guy with a girlfriend - Sooo lame! :P - I read the cutest book yesterday: "Last Knight" by Hilari Bell - Really good book, I just gobbled it right up! - So I realized this morning I've been going to school in Re...

Whether people really believe that it falls on listening ears, many pray anyway. I think it is in our very nature to pray. The Church teaches that we pray to a real being. God listens to our prayers and answers them as He sees fit in his awesome wisdom and love. How easy it is to pray! To thank Him for what we have and ask Him for what we do not. How much harder it is to pay attention to when those prayers are answered. In C.S. Lewis’ book The Screwtape Letters , Screwtape is an underling of whom they call Father Below, or Satan. The book consists of letters Screwtape is writing to his nephew Wormwood. His nephew is trying to corrupt a young man who has recently become a Christian and a follower of God, or as Screwtape calls him, the Enemy. In one of his early letters, Screwtape writes about prayer. He says, “But of course the Enemy will not meantime be idle. Whenever there is prayer, there is danger of His own immediate action. He is cynically indifferent to the dignity o...

 So I come from divorced  parents and one thing that really frightens me about this is the increased likelihood of my own divorce. I asked the 100 Hour Board the following question: Dear 100 Hour Board, I looked in the archives and I'm pretty sure this question hasn't been asked before. If it has, I'm sorry and could you point me to it? Okay, so getting to my question. I know that with divorce rates, it is the same outside the Church as it is inside of it, meaning fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. It's also been scientifically proven (somewhere? by someone?) that the likelihood of being divorced is increased if your parents were divorced. Is this true inside the Church as well as outside of it? If you grew up in the church with divorced parents, is it still more likely you will get divorced yourself? I'd like some sources if you can find them. - An inquisitive child of divorced parents A Dear Child, Don't fret, your exact quest...

 This is my 90th post! Which is cool because it's my favorite number times 30, which has my favorite number in it ten times. All cool math numbers. Anyway!  Just going to talk about my knee surgery and recovery. I'm three weeks out today! Which means in three weeks I can ditch my crutches!!! I'm a little frustrated with how slow the recovery is going though. Because I had meniscus repair, my doc and Larry (my physical therapist) are making me go really slow in the pt.   So I had surgery the first time in 2008. Doc thinks my ACL had been deteriorating for awhile or I hurt it when I was really little. I didn't notice it until May 2007 I was playing football with my brothers and some friends and a girl tripped me, twisting my leg and subsequently tearing my medial meniscus - Ouch! But I ignored the knee for the summer and finally got it checked out that fall. My doctor suggested surgery and I met Dr. Brad J. Larson in Logan, Utah. In June 2008 I had ACL reconstruction ...

 I've been reading the 100 Hour Board this morning and I haven't blogged for awhile so I think I'll take a stab at it. Another reason is I'm texting my little sister and I'm in a weird mood - perfect blogging mood. So I have a few things I'd like to touch on. First of all, my sister sent me a text saying that in her English class (at my old high school, my old teacher blah blah blah) there was found in a book cover My name. And what book would that be? Their Eyes Were Watching God. Zora Neale Hurston is the worst writer I have ever read! I HATED THAT THING!!! ... So, I reply to my sister the obvious: "What?! Why would My name be in a book I HATED?" The answer, "I don't know." Hm. I don't know either. But, according to her, it was maybe in my handwriting and it had my middle initial. My thoughts on this? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! So I say to her, "Erase it!" But it's too late. The thing has been put away. Lef...

In one of the classes I took this past semester, we had to write a life journal. In a binder, we combined our life stories, a life timeline, funeral plans, resumes, document proofs of our lives, and a bucket list. If you've seen the movie that came out in 2007 starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman (who I just love!), then you know what a bucket list is. For those of you who don't, it is simply a list of all the things you want to do before you die. Mine is pretty lengthy. The other day I was updating it and the realization came to me that a lot of the items on my bucket list, I need to be doing sooner, rather than later. Here is my bucket list: • Run a marathon • Do a three day hike • Serve a mission • Earn a BA • Earn my MA • Earn a Psy. D. • Own my own clinic • Ride a horse • Live the rest of my life not needing any kind of surgery • Learn to salsa dance • Fall madly, incredibly, insanely in love • Do service in at least two other countries • Be married in...

 Fat Caskets. A new line of caskets for a new race of people - XXL. Never would they have thought in the days past when they were making caskets out of wood that one day we would have to make caskets three times as big as a regular person. But the term regular person no longer means an average size. The reason for this is because there no longer IS an average size. And if there is, heaven forbid it, for it's got to be huge. In the United States of America, 64% of adults are overweight and 26% are obese ( "Obesity Statistics: U.S. Obesity Trends" . North American Association for the Study of Obesity. 2006 . http://web.archive.org/web/20060206185213/www.naaso.org/statistics/obesity_trends.asp . Retrieved 2008-03-08 .) Over 20% of children are obese in the US and the rate at which it is growing is outstanding. More children will grow up to have heart problems, asthma, diabetes and that's if they grow up at all. The increase of obesity is parallel to the increase in ch...

"7. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance...there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong ." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) We are told in the scriptures to be glad in adversity for all will be for our good. This is easier said than done. However, I have learned recently that when you approach hardship and trials with a mindset of learning, they are always easier to endure. In a conference talk given in General Conference in 2008, Elder J...

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Dating versus Hanging Out "There is another possible contributing factor to the demise of dating and the prominence of the culture of hanging out. For many years the Church has counseled young people not to date before age 16. Perhaps some young adults, especially men, have carried that wise counsel to excess and determined not to date before 26 or maybe even 36. Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard...

Dan Gilbert asks, Why are we happy? | Video on TED.com

           As the famous 19 th Century German philosopher Friedrich Neitzsche once said, “Do not just live, live with passion.” I would like to change this quote to replace the word “live” with “teach.” After this adjustment, the above quote states nicely the topic of my article: “Do not just teach, teach with passion.” When you think of the individuals in your life who have had the most influence, who comes to your mind? Think about them, stack them up. Tallest to shortest, oldest to youngest, whatever your fancy may be. They are the people who taught you something about life. How did they do that? What was it about them that made you grab a double glance, pull up a chair, ponder awhile? The person who first comes to my mind does not do so because she’s attractive or because she’s witty. She comes to my mind first because of the way she treats people. When she sees people, she sees them as human beings with loves and dreams and troubl...